cows
Socialism : You have 2 cows. The government takes them & puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You take car of ALL cows, the government gives you as much milk as you want
Facism: You have 2 cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk
Communisim: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours help take care of them and you all share the milk
Dictatorship: You have 2 cows. The government takes both and shoots you
Militarism: You have 2 cows: the government takes both and drafts you.
Democracy: You have 2 cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk
British Democracy: You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government does nothing.
European Democracy: You have 2 cows. First the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them, then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Finally it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
Environmentalism: You have 2 cows, The government bans you from milking or killing them.
Totaltarianism: You have 2 cows, the government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.
Surrealism: You have 2 giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Thoughts for the day
1. Aspire to Inspire before you Expire
2. Don't have it your way, Have it Yahweh!!!
Enjoy
Lifestyle
I'm sitting at work in my lunch half hour, and have just come across this amazing poem I want to share with you. It's called Lifestyle, and is credited to my old friend Anon. Sorry if you're not a Christian. This probably won't appeal!
If Jesus Christ came to your house to spend a day or two
If he came unexpectedly I wonder what you'd do?
I Know you'd give the nicest room to such an honoured guest
And all the food you'd serve to him would be the very best
You'd keep on reassuring him you were glad to have him there
That serving him in your own home is joy beyond compare
But when you saw him coming would your welcome be sincere
Or deep down would you worry that he had come too near
Or would you have a change of clothes before you let him in
Or hide some magazines and put a bible where they'd been?
Would you turn off the video and hope he had not seen
the picture that was showing on you Nicam TV screen
Would you hide your world of music, tuck your CD's out of sight
Would you rush about and tidy other things that were not right?
I wonder if the saviour spent a day or two with you
would you choose to keep on doing all those things you often do
Would you choose to keep on saying all the things you often say
Would life for you continue as it does from day to day
Would you sing the songs you always sing and read the books you read
And let him know the things on which you mind and spirit feed
Would you take Jesus with you everywhere you plan to go
Or would you maybe change your plans for just a day or two
Would you be glad to have him meet your very closest friends
or would you hope they'd stay away until his visit ends
Would you be glad to have him stay for ever on and on
or would you sigh with great relief when he at last had gone?
It might be interesting to know the things that you would do
If Jesus came in person to spend some time with you.
Novel introduction
OK so....
I thought I might post the first few paragraphs of my latest novel, hopfully drum up some interest for future installments. Enjoy
Chapter one - Recruitment
It all started with a murder. For one of the few times in my life it was one that I wasn’t responsible for. To be fair to me though, I was only ten at the time.
I had grown up in a well-off area. My parents were millionaires, and weren’t afraid to throw the cash around. Everything I had wanted I had got, and most things I didn’t like had been removed from my path.
For example my parents had appointed a tutor when I was just four years old. He was appointed to ensure I came top of my class, and I hated him from the first day I met him. I can’t remember why, I just know that I hid from him and cried and screamed.
Unfortunately I take after my mother in as much as I have a good memory, and tests have never been a problem. I see something, or hear it, and I remember it. This meant my parents thought he was doing a great job. It took me a while to realise that coming fifth or even sixth in a school test got the poor tutor into trouble, and eventually, after a whole term of not being number one he got fired.
Looking back on it I’m not impressed with myself, but I was young, I made a lot of mistakes when I was young…..
Anyway, I’m letting my mind wander. The murder. Didn’t know him all that well, I’d seen him around the estates, and the park a few times. I kind of knew him by reputation. If my parents saw him, they went out of their way to avoid him, you didn’t talk around him, you certainly didn’t make eye contact with him. I even seem to remember my parents saying he was one of “Them”.
A Beginning
I've been saying I want to do this for some time, and for once in my life Words have failed me.
The intention is for this to be a simple blog space for me to write whatever I like, whenever I like. It is also meant to motivate me to write more.
To this end I want to create a forghtnightly rant. A place where I can shout about anyhting I like, I'll try to keep it funny, and hopefully you'll all be able to relate to what I'm saying.
I also intend to display bits and pieces from novels / plays / poems / songs I'm working on, and finally I intend to publish other lyrics which strike me as funny or make me think.
So I guess that's my manifesto for this blog. I hope you enjoy it.
Robbie Craig
